Monday, July 6, 2009

Time To Go..

Something ain't right,I have a feeling and sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach.Remember when you did something that you knew your parents where going to beat your ass for and you waited in fear knowing that when they found out you are fucked?I can also compare it to going down a roller coaster your body is kind of numb and then your stomach is in your throat as you plunge towards the bottom of the hill.

No matter what I do shit doesn't get better,it doesn't change.Maybe if I stop drinking long enough for my brain to fall out of the clouds shit would make a little more sense.Year after year I tell myself that my mind is in Arizona,that my heart is in Chicago but,30 years and nothing has changed.I want to feel the sun on my face 320 days a year,make more art,sit on a butte in the dark with my motorcycle and have a conversation with god or whom ever will listen and give me the answers or a least guide me in the right direction.

Year after year the wind gets taken out of my sail, from cheatin hearts to debt to fear that the grass isn't greener in Arizona.I know life is short and that it ain't easy but, there has to be more happiness than just riding with my boys and violating small towns and falling asleep on garage floors next to my bike and a fresh chopped top.These times have stuck out a lot in my mind,maybe because they are new or maybe because they are the way life should be lived and not chasing the dollar to keep shit in line.Everything is going down the shitter,from the country to the world.I might be crazy but the whole survival of the fittest thing,it's upon us.All the shit that schools taught you ain't going to mean anything,it's going to be street smarts and survival skills.I guarantee I could hustle you and leave you for dead by morning before I could tell you how my stocks did today or how Obama fucked us this week.

If I woke up in the morning and found out that it was my last day alive,i wouldn't be upset that I was near death but,upset that wasted my life worrying about shit that didn't make me happy.The shit that kept me from doing what I really wanted to do.I can't stop thinking about a couple things,Riding,money and knocking some motherfuckers teeth out the minute I see him.One of those things is the only thing that keeps me sane,that and my dogs because the don't give a shit about anything except eating and going for walks.

It's time to go,I need to take a trip that will change shit or a least give me back the drive to be ambitious again.Maybe I would stumble on a small town that was slow enough to make me understand myself again,a new begining that would break me free of the slump that everyday life puts you in.I don't draw anymore,I don't take pictures anymore,I don't play hockey anymore,I don't write or read anymore....I don't live or create anymore.

If I say fuck it all,will I be able to push that bike to it's breaking point and get out of dodge.If I get to where i'm going and live to be old, will the story of the time I rode that sporty from here to there be one that i'll have to tell or maybe I keep it to myself and know that I did it and learned a lot about C.bass along the way.Who's coming with me?If you knew you would be dead in a week,would all the shit matter?I feel like i'm going to end up dead, in jail or have to join the goddamn army,broke and still unhappy.

I got a feeling and I got to go......................................

1 comment:

  1. dude come to sterling, its sloooooow livin here bro, crash on the couch