CAREFUL......

HOT PIPES CLAIM ANOTHER VICTIM. THE WOMAN WENT TO LAY DOWN HER HELMET UNDER THE BIKE AND GOT A BIT TOO CLOSE TO THE EXHAUST. LESSON LEARNED.

I KEEP SAYIN "BE GLAD IT'S NOT ROAD RASH"

Crazy Overtime

Been workin' crazy hours at work lately. Shit like this on my Ipod has been keepin' me goin:



This video is worth it, just for the flamethrower girls at the end! Been on a live album kick, like Volkerball from Rammstein - Killadelphia from Lamb of God - Live at the 9:30 from Clutch - Some live Tool imports - etc. Put both earbuds in - turn it up to 11 and it's like yer at the show, but making money at the same time. I wanna ride.

GOODNESS SAKES, JUST LOOK AT THOSE CAKES

WHO DOESN'T LOVE SPANDEX ON HUMPDAY?

Good mail day yesterday

Got the new Horse and my VT sticks from Jay "Lunchbox". Thanks again Jay!

LEARNING THE ROPES

SO I'M FINALLY GETTING MY SPECIAL LADY FRIEND OUT ON THE KZ AND LEARNING HOW TO RIDE AFTER ALL THIS TIME. I GUESS IT'S BEEN ON THE LIST OF THINGS TO DO, JUST NEVER A TOP PRIORITY.

RUN4YOUR LIFE IS COMING UP IN ABOUT A WEEK AND A HALF AND THE PLAN WAS FOR HER TO MAKE THE TRIP TOO. I'M WORRIED WE SLACKED TOO LONG ON GETTING ON THE ROAD.

IT'S ALMOST FUCKING AUGUST ALREADY. I THOUGHT WE'D BOTH BE ON THE ROAD AS SOON AS SPRING HIT. GUESS THATS WHAT I GET FOR THINKING.

ALL IN ALL, DON'T LOOK BAD WITH HER ON IT. FITS PRETTY WELL-

COC

SLICK AS SHIT

I WANT ONE-

Perfection

Trolling around on the interweb and came across this sweet lil knucklehead. It gave me a rise in my Levis. Damn........

I'm not a fucking electrician.....

I'm just a retard with headlight issues. I tend to buy shit and then a couple of days later I see something else that I want more. So now I have 6 different headlights! But I finally found the one for me. It's a little 3.5 inch that I found at Lick's Cycles. So here is my dilemma,
I have the blue and white wires on my bike which is what the old head light hooked up to.
And what the fuck is all this shit on my new headlight? I see the blue and white, but what is all that other shit? I already twisted the blues and whites together and it didnt do shit. So what am I missing? How do I get this damn thing goin? Al? Bobby? Lunchbox?

Had similar luck today too:

Met up with Bobby at about 8:00am at his place. We had terrential down pours the last couple days and the flooding was a real treat finding roads that were open from my crib to his. My bike was running crappy, sputtering and popping - real sporadic. Supposed to meet up with Milo and the Gang for an epic cruz up to the great white north. Weather was perfect today. Decided to try what Bobby called an "Itailian Tune-up" to get the bike running better - got on the highway and cracked the throttle wide open for a few miles. Seemed to be better, but we got bout 3/4 of the way up to our meeting point and she died.
Kick in the balls - we pull over and realize that I set my tool pouch on my work bench and never put it back in my roll up bag on the handlebars. Tried using my knife as a screw driver, but my shit is tight. Limped it to a gas station to buy a screw driver. Now I have an expensive, cheap screwdriver and a broken knife. After going thru everything we figgard out that I was loosing spark. Traced it down to a coil wire that had broken loose, but the shrink tubing around the spade connector made it look fine.
Called off the ride with Milo and went looking for some toolage. Z was working in Evanston. My old man was out riding too. Jimbo to the rescue! Jimbo showed up on the side of the road with us, pimpin his newly built bagged wagon. He had the neccessary electrical bits in pieces I needed to get us back in the wind. Jimbo was on his way to a car show, so we followed him there. Saw some nice cars and bikes, had some chow and hung out fer a bit. Took the long way home. Wasn't the miles we were hoping for, but turned out to be a great day.
Once we had the bike running good, Bobby and I had a laugh about how Karma bit us in the ass. We were running a bit late so, blasting down the highway we passed a crotch rocket that was broken down and didn't stop. (I know, we're fuckers). And the whole time we were working on my bike on the side of the road, we must of been passed by a few dozen bikes who did either nothing...or would wave.

R4YL in,Sturgis out........

see you there sluts

VENTURED OUT LAST NIGHT....

THE BLOGOSPHERE GETS SMALLER EVERY DAY. WHILE RANDOMLY LOOKING AT POST FROM ALL AROUND, I STUMBLED UPON A POST THAT MENTION MY LIL OL HOME TOWN OF FORT WAYNE, WHICH IS UNUSUAL. IT WAS A POST FROM THE SPIT BOYS (WWW.SPEEDPRACTICEINTHEORY.BLOGSPOT.COM) UP NORTH. MENTION SCOTT BIRAM WAS PLAYIN THE LOCAL DIVE. I HAD NO CLUE.

SO I SADDLED UP AND HEADED OUT. GOOD TIME. THEM SPIT BOYS ARE OK, EVEN IF THEY ARE FROM MICHIGAN.

TRY EXPLAINING THIS TO A COP...

WHY YOUR CAR IS FILLED WITH 18 CLIPS AND 900 ROUNDS FOR YOUR ASSAULT RIFLE.


MY FRIENDS LIKE GUNS-

I'M KINDA LOST

FOR SOME REASON LATELY, COMMENTS KEEP COMING FROM CHINESE PEOPLE. NO IDEA........ ANYBODY SHED SOME LIGHT ON THIS?

A WORD OF ADVICE

DON'T BUY YOUR LADY-FRIEND SOME RED UNDIES AND GIVE THEM TO HER BY HIDING THEM IN THE BED SHEETS AND PULLING THEM OUT ASKING AT THE SAME TIME, "WHO'S ARE THESE?"
THERES A STRONG POSSIBILITY SHE WON'T FIND IT FUNNY, AND ALSO A SLIGHT POSSIBILITY IT MIGHT MAKE HER CRY............

Free VT Stickers!!

They're basic, but cool. And the price is right. Send me your snail mail addy and I'll trow a few stickers in an envelope and send 'em yer way. First come, first serve. Limited run, so when I'm out - I'm out. Easy as that.

****Update: Woah, that was fast! 12 hours later and I'm out! You guys really, really like stickers! Stickers going internationally even! I'll send 'em out shortly. I'll see about doing another run, I had a nice tall stack, but next time I guess I'll try and get alot more. Thanks.****

Miller

"Each Showdown Winner will receive their choice of a select MIG welder, TIG welder, or Plasma Cutter."

Deetailz Here

I LIKE

TRAWLER BUILT-

HUMPDAY!

SURE WOULD BE A NICE HUMPDAY AT THE BACH TODAY.
IT'S FLIPP'N HOT-

OH SO SHINY AND NICE.

SOUTH DAKOTA (sturgis)

WHILE ON THE SUBJECT.......
SOME OF THE BEST ROADS I'VE EVER RIDDEN.
GREAT PLACE-

Quick comment

Dunno if you read THIS, from over at Chop Cult, Josh. But it doesn't. (suck) I always wanted to avoid it, just try it once kinda thing. Blew me away. Riding out there is incomparable. I loved it. Only hit downtown once or twice, went somewhere different everyday, awesome.

You get to ride through these:


Literally:


It'd be worth the trip, even with your thoughts.

Sturgis,The Chica Chaser and He who lusts after loose latinas

A year later after the first VT life is different.....so different ,that I think it's time to reconnect with the way I felt last summer.

I got plans to head up and out and when I say plans,I mean none at all.I change my mind like I change my drawls so,2000 mile trip by myself? it may and may not happen..........time will tell.I got a week to make it happen.Alone with my thoughts may be too much to handle and my conversations with god as of late have been like that of a one sided argument with an alcoholic spouse......This summer has been fucking shit,Chris and I rode for only the second time this year and two weeks in a row....the odds are slim but it happened.

I heard there is so much land up there,you can just pick a spot and set up camp.......the roads i hear are like none other.I need some questions answered and perhaps the grass won't be greener up there but,maybe they will.

There is nothing wrong with a women changing you.On the up side you get double the income,a house,a bigger bed and sex with the same person forever.........The downside is soon your bike will become completely neglected and will be sold to purchase a grocery getting mini van.it's all good Bob bob White,you sacrificed the most last summer and it's all for the better.....FUCK,who doesn't like baby goats?

Sometimes you find yourself in a softly lit corner,the frosted window left over from Fistmas, reflects a flickering red bulb,the kind from the shady part of town you spent $2.50 on that czech hooker and you stand back and ask,''is this all I ever wanted? Has anybody else noticed that I'm spending more and more time portraying Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet...''It's Daddy, you shithead! Where's my bourbon? Can't you fucking remember anything?''

And....? are you surprised? Is that last 30 seconds of lust filled regret climactic enough for you to throw it all away,to throw it in the face of Fred the pharmaceutical tech at Seavers drug store when he asks you,''Did you see my wife last night.''.....''No,I haven't seen your wife Fred but,I did come across your promiscuous daughter...'' She said she was 21 but,after feeling how she had complete control of the lower part of the very tip of her tongue,i'd say she was at least 36.
When Fred stops to think what just came out of my mouth he replys,''You dirty motherfucker.'' Because at this point, he's figured out that the Tetracycline prescription he just filled will dry up the Chlamydia that his daughter brought home last week.
Wait! how does Fred know? Well,that's simple,Fred himself is a dirty motherfucker.

If the questions you ask yourself when you are alone are as complex as figuring out Risk the game,then you'll get by just fine.It's only a game,like the games you play with your own brain when you come across a women that you know is no good but,GODDAMN! you want it so bad you can taste it and it's putting that same taste in your mouth that copper penny does.

NO! i've already lost one toenail from from this type sort of riding accident and my god I won't let it happen again.Like every John Wayne movie,ill punch out some Indian that steps on my farm or touches my fucking hat.I've worked too hard for these crops.If one head of cattle is lost,I won't make it to the the Traveling Wilburys show.

Roy Orbison colored his hair just black enough, that it made his glasses give a blueish tint to the pearl inlay on his reversed headstock.But,it couldn't be reversed,Roy Orbison played a Flying V........Right?

950 miles to sturgis,950 miles home........I wouldn't wish all that time on my worst enemy with a mind that thinks about shit like this...........I love you Chica Chaser........

Haven't been violating much lately..

So I missed the DicE party at Kung Fu tap and taco, honestly I just filled my tank for the third time this season. I feel like a total douche-bag for missing V.T. '10. I'm sorry guys, I let you all down. My life is so much different than it was a year ago. But I cant complain. I have a girl who loves me and puts up with my weird shit. She's got me petting kittens and baby goats.

BADICAL

WHATS NOT TO LOVE-

HUMPDAY!

PALS..............

Billy the kid cared enough about his friends to get it stamped on his grave.........GET YOU ASSES TO DAVENPORT!!!!!!!!!! And sometimes ''20 years of friendship don't mean shit......''

Porn Convention, this weekend

Right up the Violation Alley:



For the show - Deetailz

Oh, and for the Fuck-A-Fan contest - Deetailz

HEARD STRIPES ARE IN THIS SEASON

Saturday........

So after, blowing off my old man for a ride to Milwaukee,I reflected on my actions with a ride by myself......I'm starting to get used to the idea of riding alone....change is coming..people are getting their shit together...i'll be a fuck up forever and as long as my bike is running,i'll go through life a little happier....I spent Saturday hungover,even taking a nap under a tree while my bike decided she was going to be a bitch for dumping her the night before.............dodged some bullets this weekend......rain,death etc............and some bent controls.....here's some bikes I stumbled on from my ride.....

BBQ

The best you had........I bet that feels like some of the pigs i've dated.......

Bromance....

It's been awhile since Chris and I had some alone time....gay...Friday I met up with Skooter Skot and rode a bit...Pulled one out from last summer and hit all the old haunts....After hanging at Uncle Paulies, Chris showed up to start power drinking.....after Skooter left we blasted west and then ended up at uncle paulies again.........then from what I can remember...we ended up at "A'' "Clubhouse'' and then I blew off my old man saturday for the Knucklehead reunion........fuck.........it was a good blast at 80mph down El Norte

It's been slow around here...

So, a couple things.

1.) My 15 minutes is up (and since no one has mentioned it here) - now it Joshs' turn, check out the new 100th edition of The Horse for a sweet article on the ''The Haymarket Haymaker" aka "The Chica Chaser"



2.) This is a sign I saw at a building I am working in:



I can think of at least 4 levels, more if you count variations.

3.) Mike form the Block had a sticker on a bike that I liked (obscure maynard reference):



4.) Mike and Bobby the Leg had a combined 4th party that kicked all forms of ass. Vintage cars and bikes lined the entire property, great friends, fantastic food, music and even a slushy machine with adult drinks in it!

5.) A new song is stuck in my head:


6.) My new favourite quote...from Chris when Bobby and I had a lengthy conversation with the waitresses at Hooters about the better iced tea - pomegranate or blackberry:

"Listen, why don't you get these 2 ladies an umbrella for their drinks and hurry up about it because they need to be home in time for the Golden Girls."